critical mass

There has been talk about critical mass, both on the scale of the earth can no longer support its inhabitants and in the sense that humans will develop another way of thinking that will change the way we work this world and we need enough humans to start thinking this way. Either way humans have been taking about their life having a purpose for centauries. And within this centaury that concept seems to be having a greater impact on people than ever. There have been great complaints about the generation of people currently entering the workforce. That ‘we’ do not keep to the same job, we are not loyal, we are trying to find work that for fills us, rather than just gives us money, we are trying to find our purpose, we are trying harder than any generation before us.

I don’t know why but we seem to put this purpose down to god or the universe, they seem to control it, not us, it’s my purpose it’s what god put me here to do (because he couldn’t do it himself) or we feel the universe guide us. We decide, somewhat, but much of it is a chance thing, we go looking for it, all the time, yet we expect it to be obvious and show us the way, are we simply looking for guidance, do we still feel like children who need mummy to show us what to do, or can we just sense that this purpose could not be confined to ourselves and must involve others and must involve something bigger than all of us put together to make us come together. Or can we just feel it pushing us this way and that like the tide.

What is to say that our life is centred around one thing, most lives have many many aspects, there is so much that happens normally all at once, that we couldn’t possibly be something to understand or generate or be used for one thing only.

One of the things I feel, I am useful for, I don’t know what it is, but I know what started it. Well actually it started long beforehand, as everything does, it has its roots in my ancestry, long before I was anything other than pure potential. But what focused the universe, and got it to make sure I was in the flow, was when I met a kid from my primary school for the first time in years, and he stole my car, five minutes later we were friends. I think the universe decided that I was needed. Out of many many candidates, many of whom are still developing and certainly going to be involved in whatever it is this is all leading us to, I can feel that the universe was paying attention, that it said, we need someone who can make friends with the person who stole their car. (As I remember it I also brought the two people involved a drink. Because why not?)

I don’t know in which way this was important, but I could feel that my life has changed, that things have flown, that every waking moment (almost) I am learning something that I will need, that the universe since then has thrown me into situations, just to get the right reactions and to teach me the things I need to know.

The things I need to know are not about chemistry, or biology, or mathematics, they are about people, about interactions and feelings and lifestyles and society, the highs and the lows. Everything’s contrasting and conflicting and gracefully fitting together. It’s about a way of treating people, and of interacting when things don’t go to plan. It’s all about everything blowing up in your face, it’s all about chaos, and it’s all about the order we perceive in this world being fake. It’s all about bringing positive results for people, as individuals, be they upstanding citizens or criminals, positive influence and order through chaos.

That gesture of genuine friendship, was just the sign the universe needed, that the things it had planted in me and in so many others, were growing in me. That was the sign it needed to know it was ready to take me through the next series of learning experiences.

Many of the learning experiences were difficult, they involved depression and lesser challenges. In the seeding, through my childhood, I learnt a great deal about feelings, how people can hurt each other sometimes without even realising it. And how people can make people feel better without even realising it. I was given a goal, at the age of two, that with my life, I would find out how to make people feel better. I didn’t even realise just how much I had been working towards that.

In this seeding I also learnt how valuable a persons life is, even when they do not realise it. I learnt that everyone has the opportunity for a greater future, to be part of something, and to have a positive impact on the world.

I learnt that everybody has something worthwhile to share, wether it be an ingenious idea, or dinner, or companionship, or wisdom, or just a lesson to be careful and not to follow their path.

I learnt a great many things, as all children do, much too many to write, as I will only know which ones are relevant when the time arises that I have need for them.

Since this change, the lessons have been swifter, there were a great many harshness’s to reality that have been visible to me through out my entire life, however the twisted way the world works has been much more evident, the things that can be changed, that are not unstoppable, are perhaps unstoppable by individuals, but the things that a society should not allow to occur have been thrown in my face, as real, and here and now.

There have also been brighter lessons, lessons that hope is possible and not always a bad thing. That things we thought could never happen can, and wondrous things we could never have dreamed existed do.